Sticks and stones and hurtful words

If I asked for a show of hands Sunday morning for how many people have ever been hurt by someone else’s words, I think it’s safe to say that everyone would raise their hands.  Those of us who are older can probably think of multiple wounds we’ve received from the sharp arrows of others’ words.  But even the youngest can relate:  In surprise I spoke loudly at Jacob for something he did last week, but he thought my raised voice meant I was angry; with big tears and short breaths, he turned away from me to snuggle with and hide by Monica.  No one is immune to hurtful words.  There is probably no cliché more wrong than Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

People have known for a long time that that saying is a lie.  Written hundreds of years ago, the Heidelberg Catechism reminds us that the command to “not murder” (Ex 20:13) goes beyond not taking another person’s life.  When we – with the help of God – agree to live by the sixth commandment, we strive “not to belittle, insult, hate, or kill my neighbour – not by my thoughts, my words, my look, or gesture, and certainly not by actual deeds…” (Lord’s Day 40, Q&A 105).  Human nature – too often my nature and your nature – is that we say nasty things about people, and probably think things that are even worse, regardless of whether or not they’re even true.  But this is not at all what it looks like to love our neighbours as ourselves.

So, what can we do about this?  I suppose one option is to duct tape our mouths shut for the rest of our lives.  It’s extreme, yes, but it guarantees that we’ll never again say something that hurts another person.

Or, perhaps the words of the apostle Paul are more helpful:  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Here is a better direction in which to take our thoughts and words…

Continue reading here.

Joseph 7: “A Gracious Transformation”

Here we are at the end of my series of messages on Joseph.  Here is the manuscript based on Genesis 49:29-50:26, as well as some final discussion questions…

Do other people see you as a person who acts with grace, similar to Joseph and his interactions with his brothers?  Think of an occasion you feel you reflected the grace of Jesus.  Think of an occasion when you did not reflect the grace of Jesus.  What can you do to become a more grace-full person?

Can you have a forgiving heart even before someone asks for forgiveness?  (This question also came up in Part 4.)

What does Hebrews 11:22 particularly note Joseph for being faithful for?  This was not talked about in today’s message (I’ll save that for another day!).  Why is the writer of Hebrews is so interested in this?

Joseph came to see his life as a small part of God’s working in human history.  Are you able to do the same in your own life?  What might God be accomplishing through you?  (This question comes from The Genesis Message by Harvey Smit, p 87.)

If you have comments on these questions or on any of the messages about Joseph, I’ll happily receive and respond to them!

Joseph 6: “My Son Was Dead and Is Alive Again!”

“God’s purposes are not always clear, but Joseph knows that God seeks to save.  The twists and turns of his life have given Joseph the perspective to know that what God does is enough to satisfy the heart.”
— – Julius T. Medenblik, CRC church planter and writer

On this Easter Sunday, we have arrived at the climax of the story of Joseph.  We are also at the climax of the larger story of salvation, where God transforms death into life.  Here is the message based on Genesis 45-46 together with numerous Gospel passages.

I leave you with these thoughts to consider…

What difference does Jesus’ resurrection make in your life?

Read again the quote above and then Romans 8:18-39 (especially verse 28).  How do you see God working His purposes out in you?  Where are you confused about God’s purposes in your life?  Where/to whom can you turn to further explore these questions?

History:
Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”
Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run!”
Joseph 3: “When the Economy is in the Toilet”
Joseph 4: “Haunted”
Joseph 5: “The Substitute”

Joseph 5: “The Substitute”

“Jesus’ death is vicarious –
He died for us.”
— – Stanley J. Grenz (1950-2005), former Regent College professor

On this Good Friday, we make connections between Joseph’s brother Judah and Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.  Here is the message based on Genesis 44 as well as some points to reflect on…

Murphy’s Law states how if anything can go wrong, it will.  Like Joseph’s brothers, have you experienced that lately?

What words keep getting repeated in Judah’s speech to Joseph?  What do you think is their significance?

What does Judah offer to Joseph?  Explain in your own words how this foreshadows Jesus.

History:
Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”
Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run!”
Joseph 3: “When the Economy is in the Toilet”
Joseph 4: “Haunted”

Joseph 4: “Haunted”

“If anything can go wrong,
it will.”
– – Murphy’s Law

“Guilt is like the red warning light on the dashboard of the car.
You can either stop and deal with the trouble, or break out the light.”
– – Source unknown

Here we are at part 4 of a series of messages on the life of Joseph (and, especially this week, also of his brothers).  This week, we’re reflecting on Genesis 42:1-44:16.  To aid you in your reflections, here are some questions to think about on your own or to talk about with your family and/or friends…

What emotions do you detect within Joseph in the reading?  Can you identify with any of those emotions in particular?  Can you identify with those emotions as a group present all at once?

Try putting yourself in Benjamin’s place.  What do you think he’s thinking and/or feeling through all this?

Joseph’s brothers express regret for their actions of years ago towards Joseph.  Should we wait until someone expresses regret for wrong they’ve done to us before we forgive them?  That is, do people have to apologize before we can or will forgive them?

How do you deal with guilt?  Is that a good way to deal with it?

History:
Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”
Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run!”
Joseph 3: “When the Economy is in the Toilet”

Joseph 3: “When the Economy is in the Toilet”

“Bless you, prison, for having been in my life.”
—– – Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Here is the third instalment of my series on Joseph.  This message is based on the lengthy but intriguing reading of Genesis 40-41.

These are follow-up questions that will help you make more applications as well as take you in some directions that the message didn’t have the time or space to go.  (Some come from Paul Borthwick’s Bible study guide entitled Joseph: How God Builds Character.)

The same Hebrew word pit underlies the words cistern (Gen 37:21, 23) and dungeon (Gen 41:14).  What role does the “pit” play in the growth of Joseph’s character?  What kind of “pits” can you think of that God has pulled you out of?  What can we learn from this story for times when we find ourselves in what seems like a pit?

Joseph seems to genuinely care for the chief cupbearer and chief baker (Gen 40:6-7).  Had he been entirely focused on his own trouble, Joseph might not have noticed the pain these two men were experiencing.  Bill Crowder writes in Overcoming Life’s Challenges how “sensitivity to the needs of others can be deadened by preoccupation with personal disappointment” (p. 45).  When has your own pain made you blind to the pain of others?  How can you keep this from happening more often?

Joseph appears wise and discerning in this passage.  Do think that is simply a natural gift he has, or something that he has nurtured?  If the latter, how can you become a more discerning person?

How does a follower of Jesus strike a balance between living in the moment – in response to the events that God brings into our lives – and planning ahead with discernment?

History:
Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”
Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run!”

Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run!”

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
—– – Oscar Wilde

Here is the second instalment of my series on Joseph.  This one is based on Genesis 39.

These are some follow-up questions to consider on your own, or around the dinner table for family devotions, or with a small group…

Imagine yourself in Joseph’s position.  Why/how might you try justifying saying yes to Mrs. Potiphar’s illicit invitations?

Joseph experiences temptation after becoming successful.  In his book Joseph: A Man of Integrity and Forgiveness, Chuck Swindoll writes:  “The temptations that accompany prosperity are far greater (and far more subtle) than those that accompany adversity” (p. 26).  Do you agree or disagree with that statement?  Why?

The text repeats numerous times how God blesses Joseph and the people around Joseph.  Yet Joseph keeps meeting up with (what look like) tragic reversals.  In his book The Genesis Message, Harvey A. Smit asks:  “If God blesses a person, then that person will succeed.  Does it follow that, if a person succeeds, God must be blessing and approving of that person?” (p. 82).  Another way to ask the question is:  If a person is experiencing trials and setbacks, is God’s blessing absent from that person’s life?  Why or why not?

Maybe you cannot identify all that much with sexual temptation.  Thank God for that!  Regardless, ask yourself: What types of temptations are you susceptible to?  Bring these to God in prayer.  Investigate when these temptations are strongest and plan how you can avoid those occasions, situations or locations.  Look for a mature Christian who can help hold you accountable.

History:
Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”
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Joseph: “Only in Your Dreams”

In my first instalment (available here) of a series on the life Joseph (Genesis 37-50), I refer to two expressions:

“You can choose your friends,
but you cannot choose your family.”

“All happy families resemble each other,
but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
—– –Leo Tolstoy

Acknowledging that this could be an uncomfortable and even painful conversation, thinking about these questions over lunch or supper with your family sometime may also be helpful and healthy.

What do you wish had been different in your family while you were growing up?

What do you wish were different in your home now?

How is/can love and acceptance flow(ing) through your home instead of favouritism?

How are/can you nurture(ing) contentment instead of jealousy, celebrating your and each other’s accomplishments?

How are/can you be(ing) active in your kids’ lives, investing quantity time with them?  What are some practical ways you can honour your parents?

Here are some additional discussion questions about the events of Genesis 37…

Imagine you’re one of Jacob’s children.  What are your feelings towards Joseph?  What are your feelings towards your father?

Why do you think Jacob hadn’t learned the dangers of favouritism from his own experiences with his father and brother?

Why do you think Jacob doesn’t realize the foolishness of sending Joseph to his brothers?

What do you think of Joseph by the end of Genesis 37?  Likeable?  A victim?  Lonely?  A brat?

On purpose

What does it mean and what does it look like to be a community devoted to (1) worshipping God, (2) growing together as disciples, and (3) making Christ known?

I just completed a 3-part series based on Telkwa CRC’s purpose statement, with each installment connected with a psalm:
- Psalm 150 :: “Worshipping God”
- Psalm 1 :: “Growing Together as Disciples”
- Psalm 87 :: “Making Christ Known”

(You can also access these messages in the “Messages” section of my blog.)

The dragon who hated Christmas

This year I read the Christmas story according to John.

Wait a minute! you say.  John doesn’t record the Christmas story!

Au contraire, I say.  I read John’s Christmas story from Revelation 12.  I admit:  I doubt this text is read every Christmas.  Read it for yourself, and then ask whether you’ve ever heard of a Christmas story with a dragon…

Continue reading here…