Following Jesus and loving one another through the pain of abuse and trauma

I doubt I’m the first person to ask why the story about Dinah and the sexual assault she experiences is in the Bible. Frankly, there’s a part of me that wishes Genesis 34 didn’t exist. It’s a very sordid story. Some people even refer to it as being R-rated.

So why is this awful story in the Bible? I suspect one reason is to break the silence of Dinah, to break the silence of countless others (both women and men) who have endured abuse and other trauma. Terence E. Fretheim in his commentary on Genesis puts it this way: “This text gives Bible readers permission to talk openly about rape and the sorry history of society’s response, including the silencing of victims” (p. 580). We’ve heard survivors of abuse speak up over the past year with the #MeToo movement giving the church (which, sadly, has a poor reputation when it comes to perpetrators and responding to abuse allegations) an opportunity to speak to the subject. Dinah and every single other survivor were and are precious to the heart of God and their hurts and pains are important.

That’s a summary of the message I gave a few weeks ago on Genesis 34, addressing the subject of walking alongside survivors of abuse and other trauma. Click here to read the entire message (plus a bonus paragraph specifically about #MeToo).
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Treasure hunt

Jesus loved telling stories. At one point in Matthew’s Gospel, He tells a couple back-to-back about a hidden treasure and a priceless pearl. A man stumbles across the treasure and then sells everything he has so he can get his hands on it. Meanwhile, a merchant’s quest leads to the discovery of the most beautiful pearl he’s ever seen and he too sells everything so he can acquire it.

I always thought these stories are telling me to search for God, to search for Jesus, or to search for the Kingdom. And once I’ve found them, I have to sacrifice everything to hold on to them.

While it’s indeed true that following Jesus and being citizens of His Kingdom involves commitment and even sacrifice, I now wonder if I’ve been reading these stories wrong. Maybe these stories aren’t so much about me sacrificially searching for Jesus as they are first about Jesus regarding me as a treasure for whom He sacrificially searches!

I must say I really enjoyed preaching on these stories Jesus told during our recent parables series at Trinity CRC. A few weeks ago I also had the privilege of sharing this message at Inwood CRC. Please keep reading. Or watch online.
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Joseph 7: “A Gracious Transformation”

“God’s purposes are not always clear, but Joseph knows that God seeks to save.  The twists and turns of his life have given Joseph the perspective to know that what God does is enough to satisfy the heart.”
– – Julius T. Medenblik, president, Calvin Theological Seminary

As his story wraps up, I’m inspired by Joseph’s ability to see God’s hand at work even in the worst parts of his life. Instead of hating his brothers, he forgives them and encourages them to see what God is doing through and around them. Actually, Joseph has forgiven his brothers long ago, but they have a hard time believing it.

This part of Joseph’s story leaves me pondering my attitude toward forgiving others: If someone has wronged me, and I’m waiting for the apology, and I can hardly wait for them to beg and grovel in front of me so I can perhaps attach a list of conditions before I hear them, I’d better rethink how forgiveness works! As I asked in yesterday’s message, can I have a forgiving heart even before someone asks for forgiveness? If I am called to be like Jesus and if I am filled with the Holy Spirit of Jesus, then it’s indeed possible and I’ve got to pray for a heart like that! That kind of heart beats with the same rhythm as God’s heart if you consider how He arranged for my forgiveness long before I ever asked Him. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” the apostle Paul teaches. Having been graced by my forgiving God, I pray for the same grace-filled attitude when before someone approaches me with an apology.

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Here’s the complete Joseph-Lent-Easter series that Pastor Bobby and I led at Trinity CRC:
— :: Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”
— :: Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run”
— :: Joseph 3: “In the Meantime”
— :: Joseph 4: “Haunted”
— :: Joseph 5: “The Substitute” (Good Friday)
— :: Joseph 6: “My Son Was Dead and Is Alive Again!” (Easter)
— :: Joseph 7: “A Gracious Transformation” (above)
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Joseph 6: “My Son Was Dead and Is Alive Again!”

Fun!

I don’t know what other word to use to describe discovering so many connections between the Joseph of the Old Testament and Jesus’ resurrection! At the climax of the story of Joseph as well as on Easter Sunday, we witness God transform death into life.

Father Jacob was convinced his son had been dead for years, probably decades. But it turns out Joseph is actually alive and has risen to power in Egypt! I am reminded of the father of the lost sons in Jesus’ parable inviting the older son to come into the house to feast and celebrate when the younger son returns from the far country, saying, “We [have] to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again.” I can hear Jacob saying, This son of mine was dead as far as I knew, but now he’s alive again! Joseph is alive, and Jacob at long last is at peace.

On Easter we celebrate that God’s Son is alive. Unlike Joseph, who was only presumed dead, Jesus truly was dead. He died on the cross and was buried in a tomb. But, as we sing, “death cannot keep its prey,” and “up from the grave He arose!” And unlike Joseph, who was ruler only in one particular country, Jesus rules over the entire world. Jesus is alive and He reigns, so I can be at peace.

Finally there is joy in the story of Joseph. Yet it really only foreshadows the even deeper joy I have in the risen Christ. You’re welcome to read more about that in my Easter message based on Genesis 45-46. And consider giving thought to this question: What difference is Jesus’ resurrection making in my life?
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Joseph 5: “The Substitute”

I know our series at Trinity CRC is supposed to be about Joseph, but on Good Friday we spent a good chunk of time considering his half-brother Judah. He makes a speech biblical scholar Terence Fretheim in his commentary on Genesis calls “a literary masterpiece” in which he pleads to the Egyptian governor (who, unbeknownst to the brothers, is Joseph) on behalf of his younger brother, Benjamin.

Benjamin has been framed for stealing Joseph’s silver cup. All the brothers appear before Joseph and are given the opportunity to walk away from their trouble simply if they leave Benjamin behind in Egypt to live the rest of his life as the governor’s slave. Essentially, they have the opportunity to do to Benjamin the exact same thing they did to Joseph years before: Betray and ditch their little brother and be on their merry way.

I am happily astonished at how much Judah and his brothers have changed (something I started exploring in my last blog entry). Instead of abandoning Benjamin, Judah begs the governor, “Please let your servant [i.e. me] remain here as my lord’s [i.e. your] slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return [home] with his brothers.” In his commentary, Bruce Waltke observes that this is the very “first instance of human substitution in Scripture” – where one person willingly gives up him- or herself in place of another. And Judah’s the same one who years ago said, “Come, let’s sell [our brother] to the Ishmaelites!” It’s hard to believe we’re talking about the same person! That Judah, by the grace of God, has changed is undeniable.

God, in His grace, invites me to change, too. He loves to see me grow in Christ. Sometimes in some areas, the growth will be as dramatic as Judah’s. At other times in other areas and perhaps more often, it will be more subtle. But, as the Holy Spirit directs, grow I will. In fact, as I’ve said before, it’s impossible for followers of Jesus not to grow. Anything that’s alive will grow! Without growth, our spiritual muscles will atrophy, our convictions will become fuzzy, our obedience to Jesus increasingly sporadic.

It makes me want to look back over the past week, month, and year to see where God has been making a difference in my life and helping me grow more and more “in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (to quote Peter). Maybe you’d like to consider that, too.

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You can read my Good Friday message here. It touches on growth, but focuses more on how Judah’s willingness to take his brother’s place anticipates the perfect “substitutionary atonement” of Jesus through His death on the cross.
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Joseph 4: “Haunted”

“Guilt is like the red warning light on the dashboard of the car.
You can either stop and deal with the trouble,
or break out the light.”
– – Source unknown

One of the things that makes the story of Joseph so appealing and memorable is how the people in it change. In my message yesterday, we saw how Joseph’s brothers are confronted with the opportunity to do the same thing to Benjamin as they did to Joseph. Years before, Joseph’s brothers abandoned him when they sold him as a slave and now they have the opportunity to also ditch Benjamin in Egypt. This option is presented to them by the Egyptian governor as a quick and easy way to solve their problems and head back home to Canaan.

However, the guilt that has haunted the brothers has had at least one positive effect: The brothers have changed for the better. Instead of hightailing it back to Canaan, they choose to meet with the governor and plead for Benjamin’s life.

But they aren’t the only ones who have changed: Joseph has changed, too. When we first meet him, Joseph comes off as a brat as he struts about in his ornate robe, tattles on his brothers, and indiscriminately describes his dreams of ascending to prominence. There’s no excuse for the brothers’ cruelty towards him, but he certainly knew how to make life miserable for them, too. Perhaps he’s haunted with his own sense of guilt.

Like his brothers, Joseph has also changed. As Pharaoh observed, Joseph has become “discerning and wise.” Joseph has been growing in ways that are enabling him to create reconciliation within his family, something that wasn’t even on his radar in his younger years.

The story of Joseph and his brothers inspires me to own up to my guilt, to recognize and confess the stupid things I’ve done that have hurt God, others, and myself. I see guilt as simultaneously a warning and a blessing, a call to stop doing something wrong and an invitation to experience grace. For when guilt prompts me to seek and receive forgiveness, there is healing and liberation. Do you want to join me in thinking about and responding to guilt this way? It’s not an easy process, but it’s one the Holy Spirit uses to slowly but surely make you and me more like Jesus.
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Joseph 2: “Run, Joseph, Run”

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
— – Oscar Wilde

My second installment in our series on Joseph at Trinity CRC circled around the theme of temptation. I wonder what’s harder for Joseph in Genesis 39 – to give into the temptation to commit adultery with Mrs. Potiphar or to give into the temptation to give up on the God of his fathers? Think about it: Joseph is abandoned and sold into slavery by his own brothers. He is exiled to Egypt where his boss is the king’s chief of security (a.k.a. the country’s “Executioner General”). Who would blame Joseph for thinking, If this is how the God of my fathers treats the people of families with whom He has repeatedly made covenants, I don’t want anything to do with Him.

Yet Joseph resolutely sticks with the God of Israel, pursuing Godliness and fleeing from sexual temptation. Choosing to be faithful to God certainly plays a role in successfully resisting temptation. Although Joseph’s response to Mrs. Potiphar’s advances is spontaneous, it reveals serious forethought. In the moment of temptation, Joseph was prepared to do the Godly thing.

Even though I might know what the Godly thing to do is, I find ways to justify doing the opposite. I suspect that if Satan is unable to convince me that temptations don’t exist, he’ll settle for me becoming the master of exceptions. He loves for me to think, Yeah, that’s an important rule, but it doesn’t really apply to me, especially considering everything you’re going through right now.

It leaves me asking how can I be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading so that I, too, can be prepared when temptations arise. He prompts me to recognize the types of temptations to which I’m susceptible, whether it’s lust or pride or selfishness. He helps me investigate when these temptations are strongest so I can make a plan for how I can avoid those occasions, situations, and/or locations. And that says nothing about the strength I find in prayer and having an accountability partner.

Our gracious God provides us with plenty of ways to run like Joseph, fleeing from temptation. Can you and I run together?
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Joseph 1: “Only in Your Dreams”

There’s no easy way to put it: Joseph’s family is a mess. His father plays favorites and remains indifferent to the jealousy created by his favoritism. His brothers’ hatred of him escalates into a plot to murder him. Joseph himself comes off as a brat as he struts about in his ornate robe, tattles on his brothers, and indiscriminately describes his dreams of ascending to prominence.

As I admitted in my message yesterday morning (available here), it makes me wonder what Joseph’s story is doing in the Bible – at least the part about him and his father and brothers. Why is so much space devoted to this dysfunctional family?

If nothing else, it shows me how our gracious God is able to work in my life and home regardless of how messy they are. God is not afraid of my brokenness and His plans are not thwarted by it. If God is able to work through Joseph and his family, then there’s hope for my family and every family!

Perhaps another reason the Bible describes Joseph’s home life is to shine some light on what’s going on in my own home. These are hard questions to ponder, but I think it’s important for me to ask them now and again…

What do I wish had been different in my family while I was growing up?

What do I wish were different in my home now?

How is love and acceptance flowing through my home instead of favoritism? How can I nurture love and acceptance more?

How am I being active in my spouse and kids’ lives, investing quantity time with them? And/Or: What are some practical ways I can honor my parents and encourage my siblings?

Those are the questions I posed in my message yesterday. Here are a few more I find myself thinking about…

Why hadn’t Jacob learned the dangers of favoritism from his own experiences with his father and brother?

Why doesn’t Jacob see the foolishness of sending Joseph to his brothers?

How could Joseph’s brothers sit down and enjoy a meal while listening to their brother cry out for help from the cistern?

By the end of Genesis 37, what word(s) accurately describe Joseph? Troublemaker? Arrogant? Lonely? Victim? How am I at least sometimes like Joseph?

Amid the fun and/or dysfunction in my home, how is God at work?
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Closed doors, open windows

Despite our best efforts to seek God’s leading and desire and will, there are moments and even seasons where we wonder what to do next: Opportunities we feel called to pursue dry up and we worry where God’s taking us (or not taking us). We thought our path to the future looked pretty straightforward, but suddenly we’re encountering unexpected twists and turns, and what we’re supposed to do now isn’t clear like we thought it would be. The door we thought we’d walk right through has closed in our face.

If the apostle Paul were here today, I suspect he’d be nodding his head: Yup, I’ve experienced that, too…

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Please continue reading my message based on Acts 16:6-40 here.
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Window photo by Angelo DeSantis on Flickr.
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Moses’ Advent song

For our Advent series this year at Trinity CRC, we’re using a resource from the latest issue of Reformed Worship titled “Enter the Songs.” It’s a series shaped by the four songs found in the Gospel of Luke that surround the Christmas story. We ran into a bit of trouble, though, when we decided that we’d like to look at Simeon’s song the Sunday after Christmas (not the Sunday before as the article in RW has it). Would we start our Advent series a week later? That seemed wrong. Could we find another song from elsewhere in the Bible? Probably…

Natalie (Trinity’s Worship Co-Coordinator) and I settled on Moses’ Song of the Sea together with the song sung by Miriam in Exodus 15. While I suspected I’d be able to connect it with the start of the new church season, I was happily surprised with how well it really did fit with Advent!

Here’s the message I preached yesterday connecting Moses’ song with Advent. Please let me know if you come up with more connections!
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Touched by an angel

Acts 12 has always been a favorite part of the story from the early church for me. Peter’s miraculous escape from prison makes for exciting reading!

Daily devotional writer Dale Vander Veen recently helped me appreciate the story even more when he pointed out how Peter and then, at the end of the chapter, Herod are both “struck” by an angel (12:7 & 23). The same word is used to describe what the angel does to both these two men. But the results are completely opposite: Peter is freed and lives; Herod falls ill and dies. We don’t know whether it’s the same angel, but my guess is that it is.

Picture the scene: Peter is sitting in prison, awaiting trial before Herod. The church is praying. Peter thinks he’s isolated, on his own, but “suddenly an angel of the Lord appear[s] and a light [shines] in the cell. [The angel strikes] Peter on the side and [wakes] him up. ‘Quick, get up!’ he [says], and the chains [fall] off Peter’s wrists” (12:7). “And,” writes Dale Vander Veen, “the rest is history. Peter is escorted out of prison, a free man.”

At the end of the chapter, pompous Herod is sitting on his royal throne, addressing his fawning subjects. Herod thinks he’s untouchable, in a class of his own. The people begin shouting, “‘This is the voice of a god, not of a man.’ Immediately, because Herod [does] not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord [strikes] him down, and he [is] eaten by worms and die[s]” (12:22-23). “And,” to again quote Dale, “the rest is no history – at least no history for Herod!”

I have a theory about all this. I cannot prove it, but neither can I disprove it. I not only think that it’s the same angel in both 12:7 and 12:23, but I think he strikes both Peter and Herod in exactly the same way. Yes, the results are polar opposite, but the point of contact itself might have been identical. Allow me to explain…

Herod has set himself up against God. He makes himself the arbiter of truth, persecuting those who disagree with him (see 12:1). He even decides who lives and who dies (see 12:2, 19). And, as if that’s not enough, he welcomes the praise of the people who call him a god. In short, he has completely rejected the one true God, putting himself in God’s place. Therefore, when an agent of the one true God comes in physical contact with Herod, he is appalled by it. It’s like his body rejects like, just as our bodies reject foreign cells or contaminants. Herod is so anti-God that any touch he receives from God feels like poison – consciously or subconsciously, he rejects it. And because God is the God of life, to reject God ultimately leads to death, if not sooner, then later.

Peter, on the other hand, is an apostle of Jesus Christ, spreading the Good News throughout the known world. He loves God and wholeheartedly desires to keep in step with the Holy Spirit to which his two letters attest. Therefore, when an agent of His God comes into physical contact with Peter, it brings life and vitality. His heart, soul, mind, and body welcomes any form of contact with God – whether through the Word, prayer, or even a physical touch. The touch Peter receives is a blessing, not a threat and certainly not a foreign contaminant. Consciously and subconsciously, Peter invites God to work in his life, which brings life, both now and for eternity.

So I cannot help but wonder whether the angel used the same touch on two completely opposite men, resulting in completely opposite reactions – one resulting in sickness and death, one resulting in freedom and life.

Through His Holy Spirit, Jesus seeks to touch people with His love and grace. Yes, the touch may seem painful at first when it brings a realization of sin. But His presence is ultimately meant to bring life for today and forever. He died on the cross and then defeated death by rising on the third day to bring us freedom and life. He longs for us to hear His invitation and draw near to Him. Pray for God to touch you and that when He does, He finds a receptive, welcoming heart.

Do we deserve this such life-giving and faith-building touches from God? No. Because of our sin, we do not. But I am reminded of Someone else who was struck by God. Isaiah prophesied:

“Surely he took up our infirmities
— and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
— smitten by Him and afflicted.
For the transgression of my people
— he was stricken.”

When we are in Christ, the touch of God is not deadly, but life-giving. His presence is not something to be feared, but something we eagerly welcome.

Dale’s devotional ended with this blessing: May God “strike you today with just the right amount of force to remind you of his deep, stricken, unfailing love for you.” Then, when we experience His presence, His touch through the Word, sacraments, prayer, creation, and fellowship with others, we will welcome it, and find life, and are nourished in our faith until He welcomes us with His loving embrace when we see Him face to face.

This is an abridged version of a message I gave at Trinity CRC.
You can watch the whole thing here. Artwork found at Wikipedia. Contact Dale Vander Veen to receive his free, biblical, inspiring
daily devotional emails: dalevanderveen@sbcglobal.net.
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Always

A couple weekends ago, Monica and I attended The Art of Marriage retreat hosted by Trinity CRC at beautiful Inspiration Hills. The setting is aptly named as Monica and I were inspired in our married life together!

The retreat coincided with a series of messages that the other Trinity pastors and I delivered this past month about relationships. Each installment was based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; the message I gave this past Sunday was the final in the series and focused on verse 7: Love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

I referred to The Art of Marriage near the end of the message, but I began with how always and never are dangerous things to say when you’re arguing with your spouse or a friend…
— “You never put the toilet seat down.”
— — “You always spend more money than you say you will.”
— “You never want to talk about nurturing faith in our home.”
— — “You always call your mother when we argue.”
…Such exaggerations will only make the conversation go downhill from there!

The word always can only be said most safely by love, by those in love. And by “in love,” I mean by those who are “in Christ” who personifies the love of 1 Corinthians 13.

Please continue reading my message here…
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