Sentness

Monica and I are part of a small group that just finished working our way through The Tangible Kingdom Primer by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay – a very thought-provoking and challenging book written to help communities take mission seriously. These three quotes capture a lot of what we discussed…

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Throughout the scriptures, we see God calling his followers to live a life of “sentness.” Stability, social comfort, relational control, safety, success, respect, or clarity were not expected. People had to go purely out of obedience, a personal sense of calling, in faith, and simply because they loved God. Outcome didn’t matter; faithfulness did. (p. 7)
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Where is God already at work
— in your neighborhood?
— In your city?
— — Where in your life do you
— — interact with [these] people? (p. 63)
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You are always in “discipleship mode.” As people watch your life and actions, you are either discipling them toward a life of trusting God or toward a life of trusting in self. (p. 127)
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Seeking and granting forgiveness

Despite my best intentions, I’m not always so good at dealing with anger. I’m not alone with this problem, which means that opportunities to seek and grant forgiveness abound.

The Art of Marriage retreat last month reminded Monica and me how it’s a privilege for Christians to seek and grant forgiveness. It’s a privilege because our forgiving attitude helps us better experience the reality of God’s forgiveness. To quote the apostle Paul: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Paul’s words are a command, revealing how God wants what’s best for us. He doesn’t set up rules to make life miserable, but to enable us to experience true freedom. And forgiveness is a choice we make that sets the other person free from the debt of the offense. Forgiveness also sets us free from resentment and wanting vengeance.

I jotted in the margin of my Art of Marriage workbook that “forgiven sinners forgive. We reflect God’s generous forgiveness of us when we forgive one another.”

I also blogged about the Art of Marriage here.
Calvin & Hobbes graphic found via Google.
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Dealing with anger

During the occasional temper tantrum in our home (you’ll have to figure out whether I’m talking about our kids or their parents), someone often casts blame on another family member for their outburst: “But he/she/you made me angry!” At the Art of Marriage retreat that Trinity CRC hosted last month at Inspiration Hills, this quote jumped out at me:

The source of our anger is within each of us.
— No one else can “make us angry.”

We can have everything taken away from us except for one thing – how we’ll react to any given situation. Whether we become angry is a decision we make. It may seem to be impossible to respond any other way, but it only seems that way: By God’s grace and with prayer and practice, we can change the way we respond to situations that would otherwise provoke anger.

The Art of Marriage material provided a helpful checklist of what to focus on and what to avoid when a conversation gets heated and anger begins to build:

- Focus on…	- Rather than…
one issue	many issues
the problem	the person
behavior	character
specifics	generalizations
facts	judgment of motives
“I” statements	“you” statements
understanding	who’s winning or losing

Apparently a lot of our anger stems from unfulfilled desires: We’re expecting one thing but end up with something else or perhaps nothing at all. It’s easy to become angry when our hopes remain unfulfilled or are shattered, whether it’s because chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream is unavailable at the store today or because of a painful injustice that occurred years ago.

The Art of Marriage workbook encouraged Monica and I to “ask God and our spouse for wisdom regarding our desires,” that our desires would not be misplaced or unrealistic. “We need to bring our desires before God, genuinely seeking His direction, and ‘He will give you the desires of your heart’ (Ps 37:4b).”

I suspect that as I “take delight in the Lord” (Ps 37:4a), His desires will more and more become the very things I desire. And if I’m aligning my life, actions, and words to His desires, I suspect I’ll have fewer things to be angry about with myself, my wife and family, and the other people in my life.

I also blogged about the Art of Marriage here.
Calvin & Hobbes graphic found via Google. Anyone know
from which particular strip this originates? I’m guessing Calvin
is complaining about school or having to do homework…
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Always

A couple weekends ago, Monica and I attended The Art of Marriage retreat hosted by Trinity CRC at beautiful Inspiration Hills. The setting is aptly named as Monica and I were inspired in our married life together!

The retreat coincided with a series of messages that the other Trinity pastors and I delivered this past month about relationships. Each installment was based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; the message I gave this past Sunday was the final in the series and focused on verse 7: Love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

I referred to The Art of Marriage near the end of the message, but I began with how always and never are dangerous things to say when you’re arguing with your spouse or a friend…
— “You never put the toilet seat down.”
— — “You always spend more money than you say you will.”
— “You never want to talk about nurturing faith in our home.”
— — “You always call your mother when we argue.”
…Such exaggerations will only make the conversation go downhill from there!

The word always can only be said most safely by love, by those in love. And by “in love,” I mean by those who are “in Christ” who personifies the love of 1 Corinthians 13.

Please continue reading my message here…
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Welcoming guests

Each Sunday we welcome guests who are spending time with us at Trinity CRC. I prefer saying guests rather than visitors. (And don’t get me started about referring to new people as strangers as I once heard a pastor do!) You might be tempted to say this is just semantics – that we’re talking about the same thing, so don’t make a big deal about it. I disagree.

Although similar, the definitions of guest and visitor do have some differences. Gary McIntosh explains those differences in Beyond the First Visit:

Visitors are often unwanted; guests are expected. Visitors just show up; guests are invited. Visitors are expected to leave; guests are expected to stay. Visitors come one time; guests return again.

How many jokes are out there about your mother-in-law coming for a visit? The jokes don’t work (at least not as well) if you refer to the woman as a guest. (Just for the record and in case my wife’s mom is reading: I don’t get mother-in-law jokes.)

Unless you specifically indicate otherwise by prefacing it with the adjective unwelcome, a guest is typically someone you’re happy to have in your home. Even if they arrive unexpectedly, we are happy to extend hospitality to guests.

If in the newspaper or on the sign out front or on our church’s website we invite people to check out our church, should anyone be seen as showing up unexpectedly? More to the point, if a new person shows up to a Sunday worship service, are we genuinely happy to see them? If not, then I suppose it doesn’t matter whether we think of them as visitors or even strangers.

Just don’t hold your breath for them to come back.

All this reminds me of how the word guest appears in a reading I sometimes use when leading a celebration of the Lord’s Supper:

[Jesus] was always the guest.
In the homes of Peter and Jairus,
— Martha and Mary,
— — Joanna and Susanna,
— he was always the guest.
At the meal tables of the wealthy
where he pled the case of the poor,
— he was always the guest.
Upsetting polite company,
— befriending isolated people,
— — welcoming the stranger,
— he was always the guest.

But here, at this table,
— he is the host.

Those who wish to serve him
— must first be served by him;
those who want to follow him
— must first be fed by him;
those who would wash his feet
— must first let him make them clean.
For this is the table
where God intends us to be nourished;
— this is the time
— when Christ can make us new.

So come, you who hunger and thirst
for a deeper faith,
— for a better life,
— — for a fairer world.
Jesus Christ,
— who has sat at our tables,
— — now invites us to be guests at his.

In our churches on Sundays, we’re a bit like Jesus: We have the privilege to graciously and humbly serve as hosts for new people who walk through the door. Yet we are all guests, appearing at God’s gracious call to worship. And if each one of us is a guest on Sunday mornings, in a lot of ways it doesn’t make a big difference whether we’re showing up for the first or thousand-and-first time.

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The quote from Beyond the First Visit appears in this insightful blog. The Lord’s Supper reading originally appeared in A Wee Worship Book by the Wild Goose Resource Group; I found it in The Worship Sourcebook by Faith Alive Christian Resources (a second edition has just been published). I found the cartoon and Lord’s Supper graphic via Google.
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Jesus needs better P.R.

I can understand why people question the sorts of things Jesus does (and doesn’t do) when He appears to His followers after His resurrection. For example, each of the Gospels agree that it was a group of women who discovered the empty tomb. And Matthew and John specifically report that it was to Mary Magdalene and other women that Jesus first appeared. Why couldn’t it have been Pilate who discovered the empty tomb and encountered Jesus? Can you imagine the resurrected Jesus saying to Pilate, “Remember me?” Imagine the power of Pilate’s testimony! But Jesus chooses to only appear to His followers and, firstly, to some of the women who were part of his entourage.

Recall that in Jesus’ day it was a man’s world; women were seen as less important than their male counterparts. Religious teachers believed that teaching women was a waste of time. Women could not even be witnesses at a court trial. Jesus came into a world where, as one writer puts it, “the cards were stacked against women.”

So when Jesus appears for the first time following His resurrection to women, it’s tempting to think Jesus should have first consulted with a public relations expert who might have directed Him to instead dazzle the influential movers and shakers of society (read: men!). Even John Calvin ponders how “it may be thought strange” that the Gospel writers “do not produce more competent witnesses.”

Well, it probably doesn’t surprise you to hear that I believe Jesus knew what He was doing. Among other things, Jesus affirms that women are equally capable as men of encountering the risen Christ. And Jesus affirms women can be entrusted to proclaim the Good News of Easter. In a culture that consistently did the opposite, Jesus honors women by ensuring they are the first eyewitnesses to the resurrection.

In addition, that the Gospels report that Jesus first appeared to women helps me believe that the stories are in fact true. If the early church made up this story, why would they have chosen women as the first witnesses to Jesus’ resurrection? No ancient author would have done that! I like how Frederick Dale Bruner puts it in his commentary on the Gospel of John:

The very fact that our four Gospels all attest to precisely women as the first witnesses to the Empty Tomb shows the newborn Church’s serene confidence in the credibility of the fact of the Resurrection – and its respect for women. For if the Church had wanted to fortify her faith in the Resurrection, she would “found” male witnesses to give the first testimonies to the Empty Tomb. The initial female witnesses in all four Gospels solidifies, paradoxically, the credibility of the Church’s faith in the Resurrection and her calm assurance of the Resurrection’s factuality. (pp. 1144-1145)

I guess Jesus doesn’t need better P.R. after all.

Artwork: The Risen Lord Appears by He Qi.
Find out more about his art and faith here.
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Generous God

A few days after I wrote that the phrase “stingy Christian” should be an oxymoron, retired pastor and daily devotional writer Dale Vander Veen wrote about generosity. He describes in more detail God’s generosity that we have the privilege to imitate. Dale kindly (and generously!) gave me permission to post his devotional here…
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The traditional translation of Psalm 23:6 is: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.” Eugene Peterson in The Message opts for: “Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.” Wondering where he came up with “beauty” in place of “goodness,” I checked other Old Testament uses of tob, the Hebrew word David chose. I found quite a list of translations. Beauty, prosperity, happiness, gladness, satisfaction, celebration, joy, well-being, generosity.

Goodness could be translated “righteousness.” But generosity, like beauty, is also a part of goodness, and it goes beyond righteousness.
— Righteousness asks, “What must I do?”
— — Generosity asks, “What can I do?”
— Righteousness says, “I have done enough.”
— — Generosity says, “I want to do more.”
I am stunned. Every day of my life God is following me, asking himself, “What more can I do for Dale?”

God was generous in creation.
“The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good (tob – generous) for food” (Genesis 2:9). “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good (tob – generous) for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18).

God was generous to his Old Testament people.
“They took possession of houses filled with all kinds of good things (tob – generous things)… They ate to the full and were well-nourished; they reveled in your great goodness (tob – generosity)” (Nehemiah 9:25).

God was generous in his Son.
Lest I think that God’s generosity is limited to the physical realm, Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). And Paul writes, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32).

God is generous in my salvation.
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins … that he lavished on us… Because of his great love for us, God … is rich in mercy” (Ephesians 1:7, 8; 2:4, 5).

God is generous in my growth.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (generosity)” (2 Peter 1:3).

Before Jesus’ death, a woman in an uncontrolled burst of generosity anointed Jesus, breaking an expensive alabaster jar and pouring a very expensive perfume on his head. When criticized by her observers, Jesus defended her generosity, saying, “She has done a beautiful thing to me” (Mark 14:3-9).

Goodness, generosity, beauty – all three describe the heartbeat of the God who chases after me every day of my life. Amazing!

Verse for the day:
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:2)

Phrase for the day:
God has done many beautiful things for me.

Quote for the day:
Beautiful (generous) Savior! King of Creation!
Son of God and Son of Man!
Truly I’d love thee, truly I’d serve thee,
Light of my soul, my joy, my crown.
— – from “Beautiful Savior” (Gesangbuch, Münster, 1677)

…With the prayer that today you will hear your Shepherd walking behind you, asking himself, “What more can I do for _____ [insert your name]?”

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Dale has written for Today in the past. Contact him
to receive his free, biblical, inspiring daily devotional emails:
dalevanderveen@sbcglobal.net.
Graphic found via Google.
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